Sea Buckthorn
"Each of our cocktails is sourced with Norwegian ingredients
Our Oslo stint began with cocktails - g&ts from Kate and Dustin
Wendelboe
"How's everybody feeling? Anybody have any plans for the day?
"Andrew, this is your leg of the trip"
"Alright, so how does everybody feel about coffee?"
"Strongly in favor"
"I was hoping you would say that, follow me"
The gang saddles up and we set off on a short walk to Tim Wendelboe.
"So there is a world renowned coffee shop just a few blocks away, I went here last year and it was exceptional."
"How did you hear about it?"
"The barista at the coffee shop near Sondre's place recommended it. I had popped in for a quick coffee - just an in & out to-go type thing on my way downtown - and it turns out the barista was Australian, so naturally I struck up a conversation over a flat white."
"Of course you did"
"What can I say? So we eventually circled around to chatting about coffee & how I was amazed at how good the coffee was in Australia. She was a huge coffee geek down under & told me she actually moved to Oslo to work for Tim Wendelboe!
"She worked her way up to his head roaster and then right before Covid she opened up her own shop called Talormade seeing as her name is Talor. Unfortunately her shop is in the opposite direction because her coffee is amazing - she roasts it herself and makes fresh gourmet doughnuts to go with it. Did I mention she's a trained pasty chef?
"But yeah, Talor is who told me to come to Tim Wendelboe last year and I popped in right before my ferry to Copenhagen. Oh! She also made me this incredible drink called a cappuccino freddo, have you ever had one?"
"No never heard of it"
"Neither had I. It's apparently from the Greek islands, it's a chilled espresso drink with a magical creamy foam that makes it feel lighter than air. It didn't make sense how light the glass was. I still think she might be a witch."
"Anyways, here's Tim Wendelboe's shop. It's the only one since he's obsessed with his coffee & doesn't want to sacrifice quality by expanding. He won the award for best barista in the world a few years ago so you'd think this place would have a line out the door. I don't get it."
Thankfully for us the line was not even to the door of the small shop and after waiting less than 5 minutes a table opened up to accommodate the 6 of us.
Nature Walk
Functionally caffeinated we step out into the beautiful Norwegian summer sunshine. Downtown is only a couple miles away so we decide to hoof it along the Akerselva and soak up the beautiful weather. The entire length of the Akerselva, Oslo's main confluence flowing through town, was designated as an ecopark in the 1980s after a century and a half of pollution from the myriad mills and factories that line the river. Most of the industrial buildings have been converted into bars, restaurants, apartments, galleries, and various frivolities of modern life.
One such industrial building we pass is called Methallen, one of Oslo's larger food halls. We trundle by during the mid-morning doldrums - past breakfast time but not yet lunch time. Typically in a large city you can find rebels who eschew the traditional gustatory time windows, but Norwegians are nothing if not rule followers. The only activity at the food hall is by food delivery personnel restocking the restaurants for the lunch rush.
"Wait, what is this? Is it... like a bike rack for your dog?"
Everybody spins around to see a metal enclosure shaped like a tiny blimp hangar. Above the vessel stands a sign with a cartoon picture of a dog and the word Hundeparkering, i.e. a tiny parking garage for your hound. I would assume it's only used for owners to run in and grab a coffee but unfortunately for our curiosity there are no hunds parked in the hus at the moment.
Our southerly stroll continues past a gaggle of schoolchildren running about during recess, go-getters out for a jog, people posted up on blankets in the park. All things you do when you have a bipolar relationship with the sun. Eventually we find ourselves on the outskirts of the city center, where we cross the Arkobaten bridge, i.e. The Acrobat. This asymmetrical steel, glass, and concrete truss suspension bridge is a beautiful piece of engineering that nobody else seems to really care about. I mean it won 1st Prize for Extraordinary Steel & Composite Bridges at the European Award for Steel Bridges in 2012, you guys, come on!
Just as we reach the other side of the bridge I let out an excited shriek,
"TALORMADE!!!!!!"
"Uhhh what??"
"It's Talormade!! The coffee & donut shop I told you about! The one with the Australian who recommended Tim Wendelboe"
"Ohhhhh ok, we thought you snapped"
"I thought the only location was the one by Sondre's apartment but I must have read her website wrong. Anybody want another coffee?"
"I could do another coffee"
Everybody orders a donut and a coffee; I augment my order with a cappuccino al freddo for old times sake. Unfortunately (for me) Talor is not at the shop; fortunately (for Talor) Talor is not at the shop lest she pull a muscle feigning interest in my story of meeting her the year previous.
In any case we're all hopped up on doughnuts and caffeine, champing at the bit to peruse the halls of my favorite museum, buoyed by an collective enthusiasm for the arts.
Munch
"I wouldn't exactly describe this crowd as museum people"
Shannon hits me with this bombshell just as we're about to enter Munch, i.e. the Edvard Munch museum. Overlooking the waterfront, Munch is Oslo's most controversial architectural choice but the museum is a must-do in my book.
As we enter I scan the QR code and quickly purchase tickets for all 6 patrons. There will be no waffling on my watch and if anybody asks me how much it cost I will lie.
Between the front doors and the entrance to the exhibits I begin to gather everyone's water bottles, bags, jackets, purses, and any personal belongings that may be deemed as contraband to stow in a bank of lockers near the entrance. Based on my visit last year I know the security guards take their jobs very seriously. Kate eyes the "NO backpacks" sign, looks down at her small satchel of belongings and declares, "I'll just wear it over my shoulder like a purse, it'll be fine."
We mosey to the entrance where an unenthusiastic elderly man scans our tickets and points us towards the security checkpoint. "Please place all bags on the table for inspection." Kate drops her backpurse onto the table
"There are no backpacks allowed in the museum"
"It's a purse"
"No it's a backpack"
"It's so small it's really just a purse"
"No it's a backpack. It has 2 straps"
"But it's.... a purse"
Defeated, Kate realizes she has no effective counterargument to the 2 strap defense and slinks away to deposit her 2-strap bag into the locked receptacles.
As we ride the escalator up to the exhibits I quickly check wikipedia for the definition of a backpack
"Kate, it looks like Wikipedia agrees with the security detail. 2 straps a backpack does make."
"Whose side are you on??"
In contrast with last year's exhibition, this year's offerings focus almost exclusively on the works of Edvard Munch. Whereas the first two floors of the museum showcased works from other artists last year, this time 'round it's wall-to-wall Munch. Which seems like they may be stretching the collection, seeing as it's only one man, but the museum boasts over 27,000 pieces from Munch alone.
As we wander the halls I'm taking a continuous temperature check on the group, assessing their boredom levels as we weave through the 13 floors of art. To my delight everyone seems to be, at the very least, moderately amused.
On the 4th floor moderate amusement turns to "Ohhhh THAT guy!!"
Ranked 4th on a list from CNN of the most famous paintings in the world, Munch's The Scream is instantly recognizable.
As luck would have it we are privileged to
The space is more light and vibrant than many cold, stodgy spaces that may have sparked the group's aversion to museums.