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Part 5: Playa del Pacifico

The shuttle arrives to whisk us away to Tamarindo & we hop on a nearly full van. I get the single seat right behind the sliding door so I have a decent amount of room to stretch my legs for the 3 hour journey to the sea. After about 45 minutes of mountain views we drop down into the plains & I make a pretty good dent in my book before we arrive.

Tamarindo

It becomes quickly evident why some locals derisively call this place "Tamagringo." It's the most touristy destination we've been to by a large margin, with high end boutiques and ritzy accommodations sprinkled in between cafes and surf shops. This town was founded on surfing but thrives on tourism. I'm not sure why this particular town became the destination - maybe the waves are big enough but not too big, maybe some developer had a stretch of real estate they needed developed, who knows.

We jump off the shuttle at our hostel and lug our bags up to the reception area. The pushy woman behind the counter truculently informs us that we can't check in until 2 PM, which leaves us with a few hours to kill. She finds it in her cold dark heart to let us drop our bags in the kitchen until check-in but you can tell she's annoyed by it. I make sure to take my time because I can tell it's really irking her.

I remember that Tulsa should be playing Okie State right now - what better way to pass the time than watch the Golden Hurricane bring the pain to those pansies from Stillwater. I head down to Sharky's, a sports bar that I've scoped out that would have the best chance at showing the game. I plop down and they are able to pull it up & it's just after halftime, Tulsa 7 - OSU 7.

Ok, we got a game on our hands.

I enjoy a few beers and watch TU blow the game with a kick return TD in the 4th quarter. Tulsa continues to bring the fight after that but that was the turning point. 28-23 Pokes final.

It's after 2 PM now so I walk back to the hostel to check in. The misearable woman readies herself to dole out one of the beds in the 10-bed dorm when I notify her that I booked a private room. She asks who are the other people in my room and I reply that it's just me.

"But it has 3 beds" she says

"I don't give a shit, just give me the key" Andrew wishes he would have said.

"Ok? So...... Uh......" Andrew actually replies.

"It's just you?"

"Uh yeah"

"Okkkkk? Hmmmmm"

Don't give me that attitude. The room is \$45/night, it's not like I'm a Saudi prince. Leave your sour disposition at home and lead me to my palace. You really need more Pura in your Vida.

She hands me the key and shows me the room, which has a full size bed and a set of bunk beds. But the most important feature of the room is the A/C unit on the wall. This will be my first night with air con, which will be much appreciated in this muggy oceanside clime.

I throw on my trunks and head down to the beach for a quick run. A quick run turns into a long run when my foot & knee that have been bothering me feel great. Must be that moist Pacific breeze and soft sand beneath my feet. Or maybe the plethora of thong bikinis. Who's to say. After the run I decide to grab a beer on the beach to rehydrate. They have a happy hour special for two beers that I can't in good faith turn down. Don't ask me how many Colones it cost.

After I finish the two beers (I later see that they have "all day happy hour," at which point that's just the price. Alas) the sun is getting awfully close to the horizon so I scoot down the beach to where I figure the folks from our hostel will be. Sure enough they are there & I meet a new German girl and a fella named Ryan from Philly with a couple pretty serious shiners under his eyes. I ask him how he acquired that little travel memento and he advises me to get a fruit cocktail from the beachside vendor next door and he'll tell me the story. I get a mango & passion fruit rum cocktail and it hits the spot. The perfect beverage for a Tamarindo sunset - which should be the name of a cocktail if it isn't already.

I scoot back over to Ryan where he relays the tale that led to his bilateral circumorbital hematomas. He was in Jaco* a few days ago where he was walking down the beach after dark and got mugged. A guy came out of the shadows and smacked him over the head with a rock and took his phone and all the money on him. Thankfully his passport and most of his cash was back at the hostel but without a phone it's tough to do much these days - two factor authentication is difficult when you ain't got your phone.

*Jaco was the original Costa Rican tourist town on the Pacific coast and has since been supplanted by Tamarindo and other towns on the Nicoya peninsula in the competition for tourist dollars

So he's waiting on his sister to wire him some money via Western Union, but of course Western Union isn't open on the weekends (today is Saturday.. I think?) and Monday is a national holiday. The locals also tell him that even when it's supposed to be open it might not be open. And they might not have cash. Because it's Costa Rica and that's how they roll.

Moral of the story: don't walk on the beach after dark.

We all watch the sunset, painting the sky with a brilliant panoply of oranges, blues, and purples. I'd quicker tell you the wavelengths of all those different colors than write something poetic so I'll just let you use your imagination. Or google professional photos of Tamarindo sunsets. Or just go there. It's really magnificent.

Tamarindo sunset
Amateur iPhone photo of sunset

After the sunset we walk back to the hostel where I meet an international couple - un hombre de Spain and eine Frau aus der Switzerland. We start chatting and I quickly learn that they too just quit their jobs and started traveling. Fuckin A. Or whatever you say in Spanish/German.

We add one more to the over-30 crew when the German girl we met on the beach joins us. We have a great conversation about everyone's travels, including a story about the German girl falling through a grate during a hike to some ruins in Mexico that required a few dozen stitches in her leg. I ask for recommendations in Europe when I decide to venture across the pond and they do the same for destinations in the US.

Levent and some other kids join us, including another German girl who learned English in Australia. She speaks English with a full-on Aussie accent then when she switches to German all the cheeky litheness of her Australian timbre immediately shifts to the harsh, utilitarian sounds of her mother tongue. It's heaps of fun just to listen to her talk.

The kids start talking about the big party taking place in town tonight. As their plan coalesces they ask the adults if we'd like to join but we demur, content to enjoy each other's company among some beers and bottles of wine.

After about an hour of relaxing with my new European friends I hit the sack, ready for the first NFL Sunday of the season.

Sunday Funday

I wake up feeling quite rested - the A/C was wonderful for inducing slumber. I have a few hours till NFL kickoff so I head down to the beach for a run. Gotta de-tox before I re-tox. After the run I head back to the hostel to get cleaned up for the game.

Business Trip
All business Nic
Business trip

This is the most hype the Bills have had to start a season since their heydey of the early 90s. They reached the AFC Championship last season and Big Josh finished second in MVP voting. They made some seemingly shrewd offseason moves and have their sights set on the Super Bowl. So I'm giddy.

Pregame meal
Pregame meal

I head to Sharky's and they have the game on and even have the audio. Let's Go Buffalo!! Isaiah McKenzie takes the opening kickoff down to the Pittsburgh 20 yard line and I think this is just the beginning of the ass whoopin.

Everything is downhill from there. The offense is anemic, the playcalling is questionable, the penalties are plentiful. A blocked punt TD for the Stillers puts the game away, 23-16 final. It was a sloppy performance all around but the Bills really need more out of their offense. 16 points for a team that averaged over 30 points last year just ain't gonna cut it. Oh well it's a long season, just gotta trust the process.

I close out my tab, which was in the tens of thousands, could be \$10 could be \$100, we'll see when I report my credit card stolen at the end of this trip (kidding... sorta). I then violate Sharky's Covid Commandment #6 when I see a woman sitting at a table by herself and shamelessly saunter up and begin chatting.

Sharky's Covid Commandments
Sorry not sorry

I learn that Kaiti is a registered nurse in Sacramento originally from Lansing, Michigan. She's on holiday for a week and came to Sharky's just to check in on the NFL games. My kinda girl. I ask if she'd like to get a drink later and she tells me she'll take that drink right now. I wish I could report that she did that thing from the movies where she slid the chair out with her foot, but in reality I awkwardly shuffled into the chair while trying to unload my backpack on another.

She's staying at the Westin, an all-inclusive resort about 30 minutes north of here. They have shuttles that run into town a few times a day, presumably for the guests to dispossess themselves of greenbacks in exchange for cute beach dresses, designer flip-flops, and assorted Costa Rican themed tchotchkes.

We throw back a couple cold cruisers and discuss our respective trips. She actually majored in Spanish as an undergrad then pivoted to nursing for her graduate studies and career. She's been to Costa Rica a few times before and can't help but coming back.

A few more Imperials and it's getting close to sunset. There's only one thing to do at sunset - head down to the beach. On the way we stop at the supermarket for a bottle of wine and venture down to the same spot as yesterday. We meet our friends and enjoy the sunset like a bunch of heathens.

Tama sunset
Sunset wine
Sunset party

After the sun goes down Kaiti and I walk to an Asian fusion joint for some sushi. I see they have a special for 3 oysters and a glass of wine that I just can't resist. I've never had warm water Pacific oysters so I need to try them. They aren't bad - they are certainly better than gulf oysters - but they aren't inspired.

In contrast the unagi roll and yellowfin nigiri are outstanding. Just as we're finishing our meals the lights go out. What the hell? The owner of the restaurant comes by and tells us that we're getting close to the 10 PM curfew so they need to start shutting down or risk a fine. I ask if there is a store open past 10 where we can snag some beers or wine and she assures us that the supermercardo down the road is open till 10:30. Excellent.

We pay up then head to the store to pick up some refreshments where we are met by a surly security guard who crassly informs us in whatever language you want that they are closed.

Well shit.

I would have scampered down here for some booze before 10 had we not received false intel from the restaurant owner. Miss Kaiti and I are lamenting our bad fortune as we're walking aimlessly through the streets of Tamarindo when we find our hero: Lady on the Corner.

We are walking along minding our own business when a woman sitting on a bucket shouts out

"Hola amigos, you need a beer?"

Do we! It's funny you should ask because that's exactly what we need.

We walk over to Lady on the Corner and order 6 beers. She disappears for a bit then returns with 4 Cezkas (still have no idea where the hell they are from) and 2 Busch Lights. If I'm buying loose beers from a woman sitting on a bucket in Costa Rica you bet your ass I want them to be Busch Lights. Hell yes.

Busch Light
The national beer of Costa Rica

Ryan said their hostel has a nice balcony so we head towards his place. The balcony is indeed pretty sweet and I enjoy my black market Busch Light while speaking broken Spanish to Jason, a Tico who is staying at the hostel. We also meet Esteban, another Tico who we quickly learn lived in Poland for 4 years. We ask him how he ended up there and he says that he wanted to live in Europe and just chose Poland.

What?

Now I love my Polish brothers and sisters and I'm sure they have a beautiful country but I wouldn't think it would be the first place that someone would choose to live in Europe. I keep pressing him on how he chose Poland - any family connections? Do you like the history? The food? The people? Did someone recommend it to you? And really has no good reason. He just picked Poland. Wild.

I ask him if he speaks Polish and he says no. He lived in Poland for 4 years and never learned Polish. What a bizarre situation. He loved it apart from the winters but I still can't wrap my head around how it came to be. Esteban you are a wonderful maniac.

Once we run out of our Lady on the Corner beers, Ryan gets a jonesin for a dart. Well Ryan, do I know a place you can acquire a loose cigarette. I tell him about Lady on the Corner, LLC and for some reason I break into an incontrollable laugh every time someone says "Lady on the Corner." I am telling him about her bespoke establishment and can't complete my sentence because I'm a wee bit high. Oh yeah, in addition to my favorite European travel story Esteban also has some pretty good pot. Pura Vida.

Kaiti and I (Lady on the Corner vets) waltz confidently through a series of boring corners until we get to THE corner. Our hero, Lady on the Corner, is standing guard over her domain & when she sees us return she gives us the full Tica welcome. We order another beer apiece and Ryan gets to hagglin' over the price of a dart. It must be the Philly in him but he argues her down to a price that sounds like a lot lower than her original price but he probably saved himself a nickel. I don't know how much 3 loose cigarettes cost in Costa Rica but I know how much he paid.

Lady on the Corner
Lady on the Corner crew

After our transactions conclude we see a beach party in progress so we walk over to investigate. We see a group of high-school age kids playing music and dancing like high schoolers do. Ryan, Kaiti, and I stand off to the side like chaperones at Prom. It was pretty adorable. After a few minutes a cop starts pulling down the street and the kids scatter like rats on a sinking ship. We head back to the balcony and enjoy the rest of the night. The Pacific coast has a different pace than I've been accustomed to. Maybe tomorrow I'll try this surfing thing everyone's been talking about.

Beach Party
It might have been this blurry in real life

Traveler

Musings of a panhandlin, manhandlin, postholin, highrollin, dustbowlin daddy